What You Are
by Miss Sheppard
Summary: Four vignettes. Four times someone found out about Merlin.


**Title:** What You Are**  
Rating:** PG**  
Genre: **Angst, slash Merlin/Arthur**  
Warnings**: Major character death**  
Spoilers: **1.13 La Morte d'Arthur**  
Wordcount:** 660 words**  
Summary: **Four vignettes. Four times someone found out about Merlin.

**  
A/N:** English isn't my mother tongue, I'm a French _Merlin _fan. I haven't written much for _Merlin_, nor written much in English yet. I requested some help at the brilliant _merlin_betas_ LJ community, and I have to thank again _kathkin_ who kindly beta read this fic and corrected my sometimes clumsy English !

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*****

"I know what you are."

Many times in his life, and in many different circumstances, had Merlin heard these very same words. And though he was many things during the time of his life, those words generally led to one single answer that he feared and foresaw each time.

*****

"I know what you are."

He had heard it before, but it had never sounded this way. Will's voice was a whisper, confident and knowing. It was like sharing a secret – well, it _was_ sharing a secret, but it felt amazing, and beautiful, like an unknown, stunningly captivating place that only they had known of.

Merlin was completely freaked out. People had found out before, but he had never let them know for certain – they were only suspicious, sometimes joking, sometimes drunk, but never, never like Will. Never knowing it for a fact. And he couldn't do that now. There was no way he could lie to Will – the boy could read his face like in an open book.

He stared back at him, and noticed the shy smile on his face, the absence of fear, the hint of awe in his look. Relief suddenly made his way through his chest, tasting like freedom, and he sighed:

"You do."

*****

"I know what you are." It was her eyes talking. She wasn't saying much, but her look, her presence… he could feel all her thoughts at once, and she was saying, _I know you're like me, I know you've learnt the power, and got used to it, got used to like its taste, sweet, soft, and burning, I know you're capable of much more, and I could lead you to your path, the two of us, together, ruling the world, getting them all on their knees, giving them a true reason to fear us, as they fear and hate us already._

He could see all her promises, all the things that could be, all the power running through his veins, like a constant rapture, and it felt so good, so tempting… and then finally, he saw what wouldn't be.

He chased her out his mind, and made the thunder growl.

*****

"I know what you are." The voice was full of anger and disgust, just as Merlin had imagined it anytime he had thought of the day Uther would find it out.

"Shh, Sire, don't. Keep calm, alright, we- "

"- Take your hand off me, _sorcerer_," he answered harshly, with blood on his lips. Even dying, Uther was still able to make you feel like you should struggle with the shame for being what you were.

Merlin ignored him, and pressed down harder on the bleeding wound on his chest. Even though he knew there was nothing he could do – the King's time had come - he didn't move. The man was still the sovereign of this place, and, as hard as it was to believe, he still was someone's friend. And someone's father.

He whispered some unknown words, reassuring, promising, and, strangely enough, Uther blinked with confidence, and his eyes closed.

*****

"I know what you are," Arthur murmured against his neck, and Merlin shivered at how broken his voice sounded.

He closed his eyes to swallow the fear in his throat, and turned his head towards the man who was lying next to him. The King. The man who had lost his father only a few hours earlier. His best friend, and his lover, and he rested his forehead on Arthur's, bit his lower lip, and said, voice unsteady: "I'm so sorry."

Arthur looked at him, his eyes full of pain and tears, and just tightened his grasp on Merlin's hand. He moved his other hand from Merlin's heart up to his cheek, and whispered:

"Just. Don't leave me."

Merlin felt something unravel in his chest, and moved closer to Arthur. Closing his eyes, he brushed his lips against the bridge of Arthur's nose with a sigh that clearly meant_ never_.

*****

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**I'm nervously waiting for your comments & critics. Any kind of feedback will be rewarded with virtual cookies !**

**:D  
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